A Season and A Purpose

I'm A Virtuous Wife

2011-11-09T18:34:00.000-05:00

Who can find a virtuous wife?

For her worth is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-12

Four years ago, it would have been hard to convince me that in November 2011 I would still be a single mom, raising three little girls on my own... but most importantly LOVING every minute of it. I have grown so very, very much in the past four years and am so proud of the woman I am becoming. I'm sure that every single woman out there struggles with finding the perfect man for her to spend her life with. Well, those women aren't alone and I'm certainly in their mix. I did, however, decide to have a different take on my adventure of life and search for my life-long soul mate.

Sure, I have qualities I'm searching for in my husband. Sure, I want to be physically attracted to my husband as well. However, the list of things that I have I've decided to turn on myself and God. A passage of scripture in Proverbs has stood out to me. It's so much easier to find scripture about what a Virtuous Woman should be than a Virtuous Man. Now, at first... I kept searching and searching thinking that there must be something if there is this much about women (Proverbs 31:10-31). The more I searched and frustrated myself, I finally realized something... I was looking at it all wrong.

I will focus on me. I will apply the scripture of being a Virtuous Woman to myself. I will pray to become the wife that God wants me to be. My husband will fall into place, he will be searching for me and it all will make sense in the end.

Now, while I would love to say that I am raising my children in the perfect blended family... I am willing to wait on that perfect blended family to be made and not force it by any means. Yes, I'm an anxious person. I never imagined 4 years later that my mantle would still only be housing 4 stockings come Christmas 2011. I never imagined that only the left side of my king-sized bed would have a permanent body crease or that only one sink of my double vanity would be used. My two car garage, yes it only has a car on the left; and the two dressers in my bedroom... one remains empty. One day, though, I know that my forever-love of a husband will fill all of these. (and the lawnmower in the basement)

-Amber

My dog doesn't listen...

2011-08-04T20:24:00.000-04:00

Ever had one of those days, well weeks? Well, I have. Boy have I had one of those weeks this week. I came home today and vented to my dog. He didn't listen. He didn't give me feedback. He didn't fix me dinner or a glass of wine. He didn't wipe my tears away as I cried. I never, ever thought that my dog would be person I come home to vent to. Actually, now that I'm reading this... I sound even more pathetic than I thought I was when I sat down to write.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being the person who will do anything, and everyone knows it. For once, for really only once... I want to be the person that has something done for me. I'm headed off to finish laundry, water the plants, take the garbage out... all of the things I do on a daily basis... but for one day, just one day, it would be nice if someone did it for me. I know the dog won't, he doesn't listen.

-Amber

My soft place to fall...

2011-07-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

As I'm sure most of you do, I love to come home and fall into my luxuriously soft and overly comfortable bed. When I've had the worst day, I can lie down, feel the coldness of the sheets, the pillow wrap around my head and know that I AM HOME! I love my bed. I even went so far as to make all of the bedding white. For some reason having all of the white bedding seems to make it just that more fluffy looking! :)

We all have a soft place to fall, and at the end of each day we all curl up in the bed and go to sleep. We also each have a person, or maybe a few, who is our soft emotional place to fall. I love knowing that I have a place to land. A shoulder to lay my head on and cry for hours on end. Ears to listen to every word I will share. And a heart that actually cares and wants to help with my burdens.

Be thankful today for the many soft places you have in your life to land. Be sure to let your soft place know that you appreciate them, and that you are there for them when needed too.

Be blessed,
Amber

So close, yet so far away...

2011-07-14T23:54:00.001-04:00

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

John 14:6

When I walked through that door this afternoon, saw his smile and heard the words "hello love", I knew exactly where I was. I, was in the presence of my grandfather, DaddyBob. I pulled up a chair, right next to where he sat, gave him a big hug and sat down next to him. The visit started with some conversation, and to most he would respond and it was even right on topic and accurate. He told me how dad had been there earlier in the day and he didn't understand why he would want to spend so much time in such a boring place. I couldn't help but to giggle at that.

We talked about what he would, and the remainder of the time we sat there. I would talk to him about the girls and call them by name each time I said something rather than using a 'she' or 'her'. I'm not sure if he understood or even connected who I was talking about, I would like to think he did. We talked about the hibiscus he always had growing in his yard and how Riley had asked if we could plant one and try to get it to grow as big as his always did.

We even talked about how I had walked outside last week barefoot and how the stones had hurt my feet. I told him I thought that was kind of funny, because when I was little it was nothing for me to make the trail through the woods between our house and his completely barefoot without so much as skipping a beat. He didn't comment or engage in the conversation at this point, he just sat watching me talk.

After a while, he wasn't even looking at me anymore. When I would call his name or ask him a question which he would normally respond to, he just sat there in a daze. He was right there, literally right there my hand was touching him. If I wanted to I could have had my lips at his ear so every word would go straight in. This wouldn't have mattered, in these moments he was SO very far away.

As I sat there and watched this man who, in my eyes, could do anything, not even realize I was in the room... was utterly heart wrenching. I spent a lot of time in prayer there this afternoon. I also spent a lot of time fighting back a lot of tears. As much as I don't want to lose DaddyBob, I don't want him to sit in a daze in this life. I want him to be beside Jesus, to walk those streets of gold, to see the angels and to hear those hymns. I want him to see his mother and father again, I want him to see all of the people who went before him that HE preached the word of God to and that HE is the reason that they are there.

This life that he has lived, it has been a wonderful life. I've been blessed for 30 years of my life to have him in it. As selfish as I want to be, I won't be. I'm ready, ready for him to have that perfect body again. I'm ready for him to go home and meet his Savior face to face. What a wonderful day it will be, when DaddyBob gets to meet Jesus and hear "Job well done Robert, you've served well." I can't think of any words more wonderful to hear than for Jesus to tell you that you've served well.

These last few days, or weeks will be rough to watch him deteriorate slowly. To watch him be so close to a life of no pain, no medications and joy but to still be here on earth suffering. This loss to our family doesn't come easy, as we love with our hearts and he will leave a big hole there. But, I can say that I am proud to say that I am the granddaughter of Reverend Robert Peevy. I am proud to say that he has lived his life well, and that I have learned from him. If each day I strive to be more like he is and the way he has lived his life what an amazing woman I will be.

Pray for me, pray that I will take these pieces that he has left behind for me and use them to live my life as a legacy. Showing what a great man he was, a great pastor, a great father, grandfather and great-grandfather, a great husband, a friend but most of all a Christian.... let me show this in my own life.

~Amber

Right time. Right place. Right person.

2011-07-11T20:23:00.000-04:00

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down,

one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I've said before, and I'm happy to say it again: I am very selective when it comes to the people I choose to spend my time with and influence my life. I've learned over the years, and through friendships and dating that there are so many qualities in a friend that should be compiled together to make-up that best friend for me. Many of you know that I lost my best friend a few years ago and I've not been as close with anyone since this time. I've begun to open my heart and my life and am enjoying so much the friendships that I am experiencing. There are two special ladies who have woven themselves into my life and I couldn't imagine my life without them.

As I've thought about these special girls who have brought so much happiness to my life I have thought how crazy I have been about some other areas of my life. I am so selective over my inner-group of friends that I consider it to be as important of a relationship as a spouse should be to me. I trust my girls with my life, my children's lives, would run to them with a problem, would run to them when they have a problem, enjoy their company, appreciate their Christianity, their upfront honesty, giddiness and how they are as moms.

So, just how stupid have I been?!?! If these are the qualities that I absolutely love about my girlfriends, why oh why on earth has it taken me to this point to realize that these are the qualities that I need to search for in a guy? If I can find two friends, who fit this mold like a glove, then I know without a shadow of a doubt that God will or has already placed the perfect guy in my life for me. I mean, if I find one friend through my kids and another through my job, who's to say where I'm going to meet, or have, this guy.

Here it goes, here is what I'm searching for in a guy for me. As you read, feel free to comment and add to what you think I should add. I'm never above taking feedback from friends. :)

My guy should be a Christian, I don't mean perfect by any sense of the word I mean a born again, forgiven and God-loving man. My guy should be a good parent. This is something I have toyed with over and oven again, kids or no kids... if I'm going to spend the remainder of my life with someone who will be around my children on a daily basis I need to know he is a good parent. My guy, he should be fun loving. I am, I enjoy life. I enjoy getting out and having fun, he should too. My guy, he should enjoy friendships and cookouts and entertaining and being around people. My guy, he should enjoy sports. I enjoy being girly and having that part of my life, but I really enjoy the college football season and baseball season. I mean, there aren't many guys out there who don't, right? My guy, he should be honest. My guy should be faithful. My guy should have his own interests as well. My guy, he should be able to cuddle up on the couch and catch a movie with me. My guy will want to spend time not only with me but as a family with our kids. My guy, he will be my best friend just like these other two girls are. My guy, these two girls will approve of as well.

I can't wait when I realize I've found this guy and my two best girlfriends get to meet him and tell me that I've finally found the guy I've been waiting for. It will be the right time. It will be the right place. And I know, it will be the right person.

Shrimp, Potatoes, Cheese... Yes, Please!

2011-07-08T19:52:00.000-04:00

Now, I'm not so sure about the rest of you out there... but I've not tried one recipe from the wonderful Paula Deen that I didn't fall in love with. I love to cook, throw in a bunch of the things that are my favorite, and geees louise I'm down for some food. Earlier this week my friend, Jamie, was telling me about some of her twice baked potatoes and how people always raved over them and requested them. Well, I have to say that this recipe here might give hers a run for their money. I'm going to challenge her to a cook-off and see just what we come up with on these and whose are better, because these have my tummy growling for some right now.

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I did. Thanks, Paula Deen, for another fabulous recipe and for teaching us all to use butter in bigger quantities. One of my favorite sayings, these recipes are helping my expansion project... better known as my butt. :)

Shrimp Stuffed Potatoes

Ingredients

6 large Idaho potatoes

Vegetable oil, for coating

8 tablespoons butter

2 cups grated cheddar cheese, plus more for sprinkling

2 cups grated Monterey Jack

2 cups sour cream

Salt and pepper

1 pound shrimp, peeled and Sauteed

Paprika

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Begin by washing potatoes, drying them, and gently pricking them with a fork on the sides. Coat each potato with vegetable oil, place on foil covered pan, and bake for approximately 1 hour.

Place the butter in a large bowl. Remove the potatoes from the oven and slice each potato in half. Gently scoop out the potato and place in the bowl. Using a mixer on high, mix the potatoes, butter, sour cream, salt, and pepper. Fold the shrimp and both cheeses into the mixture. Gently stuff the mixture back into the potato shells, making sure not to break them. Pile the mixture as high as you can on top of the potato shells. Sprinkle each potato with cheese and paprika for color. Bake in the oven for approximately 20 to 30 minutes until browned on top.

I've got a feeling...

2011-07-05T20:02:00.000-04:00

While driving home today I couldn't resist the urge to stop by my favorite local crafting place, Hobby Lobby. I've been wanting to create a curtain for the kitchen, only one window but it is a doozie of a window. So, after searching through the fabrics today I settled in on one and must say I am more than pleased with my selection.

So, I'm pulling out and dusting off the old sewing machine **saying a little prayer that it will survive through the entire project** and crafting out and hopefully can complete it tonight. Can't wait to see the finished product. I'll even pull the ladder out tonight and hang the whole thing up if I can craft it all in time.

So excited!!!
Amber

Clean basement, no dumping ground anymore!

2011-06-27T21:13:00.001-04:00

I've spent the last few months doing a complete overhaul on many parts of my house, but I believe the most transformed would be the basement. My basement has been emptied, organized, swept and bags of garbage hauled out. The very last load of 'crap' went to the curb tonight for garbage pick-up tomorrow. I have to say that it felt SO good to take that last load to the street and walk back in and see my organized space.

Why am I telling you about my basement, well... while my basement might be clean and I learned to let go of so much stuff that was down there; I learned to let go of a lot of other things as well. You see, I'm the type of person that will hold on to something for someone because it might be something that they would want. I've let anyone who needed to store stuff in my basement and it literally turned into a dumping ground. Well, I realized through all of this that this was the way that my heart felt. Because I never want to hurt someone's feelings I've ended up with a lot of crap left in my heart like a dumping ground.

While I filled each bag of garbage, I allowed myself to also fill those bags of garbage with the crap that filled my heart. I can't continue to allow myself to carry these non-essential things around with me. Tonight, as I took those last few bags of crap to the road, and the boxes I took along with them it was like the final stitch in my heart. I've let go, I've decided to no longer allow myself to be a dumping ground for ANYONE. I will not accept your crap, I will not harbor your crap, I will not help you share the burden of your crap and I definitely won't allow your crap to enter my heart. I'm going to keep telling myself this every day so that I can remember this as I go out into my life and surround myself with people. I choose to surround myself with people who make me happy, who bring out the very best in me and who can live their life without negativity.

I'm loving my clean basement, and even more so my clean heart and look forward to them staying this way.

~Amber

Matthew 7:7-11... all from a game of Shuffle Board

2011-06-07T22:37:00.000-04:00

Rachael and I took some time tonight to hit the shuffle board courts outside the condos. It was quite humorous, as I haven't played since I was a little girl and well, this was the first time she had ever played. We had a blast, can't say that we should compete in this sport, but we had fun.

Rachael always wanted to go first. I'm sure at 7 it doesn't occur to you that you would prefer to have the last turn so you would want the other person to go first... but that's beside the point. She would get so annoyed with me when I would knock one of her pucks out of play. Rachael would, while I was sending my puck down, say, "Oh God help me!" She would turn to me and tuck that chin down, turn those eyes up at me and pout those lips out.

It occurred to me that this happens all to much to us in life. How many times are we right where we want to be, and something or someone comes and knocks us out of that prime position. The position that we just wanted to be in and something comes out of nowhere and sets us back. Now, Rachael beat me every time, and I was quite glad that she did because I was playing a game with my 7 year old.

During this game, which she beat me at on every round, I realized we don't ask God for help with the small things. We wait until we get knocked off and have to start over from scratch when we seek him, mainly for help with the large stuff. How many times a day do you just stop and either thank him for the things we have or ask him to simply bless your day or allow a safe commute to and from work? We wait until the small things all compile into one big thing and then we seek him.

After all of this tonight a bit of scripture rings through to me, it comes from Matthew.

Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?

Or if he asks for fish, will he give him a serpent?

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

Matthew 7:7-11 (NKJV)

~Amber

A Complete Package

2011-06-05T21:48:00.000-04:00

We all have lessons we learn throughout our lives. Some lessons we learn as a child, some we learn in school, some we learn from friends... and a lot, well we learn the hard way. I'm sure you're thinking that this is something horrible that I've experienced to make me post this. No, it's nothing horrible... it's just something that made me realize something about me, who I am and what I want in or out of life.

There comes a time when what you're looking for in life isn't always in the package. The beautiful wrapping paper doesn't necessarily match the bow, the bow might be crinkled, maybe even the corner of the box is smooshed in, could be a tear in the paper. However, when you open up that package there's the most beautiful gift on the inside. A gift that has been everything you've ever needed, and once you start to use it you also realize that it's everything you've ever wanted... and most importantly everything you've deserved.

Sometimes in life the gift in that package gets lost, maybe one day you'll find it again. But you realize that it's okay. It's okay because you learned that there are beautiful gifts and know that they are attainable. It might take a long time to find a gift such as this, and a lot of hard work and diligence but it is attainable. Even more important, you refuse to accept a gift any less beautiful than this one. You know that you deserve the absolute best and won't ever settle for less than the best. When you receive the best, you then expect the best and know that you are worth it.

~Amber

Shoulders & Sleeves

2011-05-31T21:03:00.000-04:00

"The strength of a woman can carry the world."

-Sarah Pezdek-Smith

For those of you who know me, really know me, know that I am a person who wears my heart on my sleeve. Some might consider me naive, others tender-hearted, but seriously I think it's just that I want to see the good in everyone and be able to allow love in on any and every chance possible. I am the type of person that would just bring an entire family home and make dinner for them if I knew they didn't have food for dinner... even if that meant that the girls and I would struggle for food the rest of the week. That's me, that's who I am, and it's a lot about how I saw people do things growing up.

My shoulders are heavy this week. I want to be able to fix everyone and everything and just make the world right! I have about 3 different blog posts started and saved, and somehow I think they're all going to merge together in this one. Like most of the world, I had a dream... a dream of what I wanted my life to be like as an adult. Part of my life resembles that dream and part of it doesn't. I started blogging about this over the weekend and never was able to finish it. Today, though, it hit home. See, here is what I had imagined my life to be.

I would be married to the most supportive husband,

who had a wonderful job (not meaning millionaire, just enough to be comfortable).

We would have our children 3-5 and some boys would be included.

I would be a stay-at-home mom, who did all the mom stuff by daytime...

and was arm worthy to go with my husband to events and concerts and dates at night.

I would host dinner parties, cookouts, play dates, you name it... I'm on it!

Sounds a lot like the Cleavers, doesn't it?

Today, today, today, today was the very first time that I have ever wanted to just quit my job and take care of everything else and not worry about finances. This had nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with anything that happened at work today. It all happened after work!

You see, in that description that I placed up there... nowhere in it did it mention anything other than my husband, kids and friends. Today, after work, I picked up my three beautiful little girls and drove to Hoschton. We went to visit my grandmother otherwise known as MamaRuth. I grew up living next door to my grandparents, with a well beaten path through the woods to their house and some tough little feet that could handle it barefoot and in the dark too! We visited with her for a while, before all of us loading in the car to go visit my grandfather more well known as, DaddyBob. This was my first trip to visit him in the assisted living home, okay cut the crap it's a nursing home. Granted, this is an absolutely wonderful place, and I couldn't imagine a better place for him to be. Well, yes, I can. Do you see where I am going?

I want to quit! I want to quit my job, load him in the car along with everything he needs and bring him here and take care of him. I don't care how many hours in a day it takes, I don't care how much sleep I would lose I just know that my heart hurts too much to not do something about this. See, in that dream of my life above, I could... I could do that in a heartbeat. My life isn't as I dreamed it and now, with tears pouring down my face, I can't care for the people in my life I love the most. You see, he doesn't deserve to be there. No, she physically can't care for him at home and I know why this had to be done but still, I can't stand this.

When we walked in today, she said "Robert, do you know who this is?", he said "Yes, it's Amber. Hey there love!" To be remembered today, and I know maybe not tomorrow, but just for today was the best feeling in the world. When we told him we had to go, he didn't know where we were going or why we had to go. It breaks my heart, literally breaks my heart to see a man who could stand up on a Sunday morning and preach to a church, full of people be so confused.

So, to come home tonight and realize even more that my "dream" doesn't exist sucks. As I made dinner for my girls, and prepare clothes for work tomorrow and get ready to close out another month I wonder where I went wrong. Why I don't have that person to come home to, who completely understands this heart I wear on my sleeve and the weight on my shoulders, to tell me it's okay to quit my job, to watch me cry and hold me? I do know that one day I will!

For those of you who care... this is a rough week. Just keep me in your prayers this week, especially Thursday!

-Amber

Scuff Marks

2011-05-30T16:36:00.001-04:00

Have you ever read or heard something from someone that has stuck in your mind and you just can't seem to get it out? Well, in February I read a blog post of a friend of mine and I've been drawn back to the post time and time again. I've shared the post with friends and have asked, and been granted, her permission to share with you. I hope that each of you take some inspiration from this post like I did.

Scuff Marks

This afternoon I decided to tackle some touch-up painting that needed to be done for a project Robby is working on in his closet. On my way in the house and up the stairs to his closet, I noticed there were quite a few scuff marks on the walls. We've painted very little in our house so far, so most of the walls are still the builder's off-white. Since I had the paint out, I figured I'd just touch-up some of those scuff marks.

It wasn't until after I'd started painting that I noticed just how many scuff marks there were. How could I live in a house with that many marks on the walls and not notice them? As I painted over mark after mark, I thought about how all of those marks could have gotten there. Some I could identify exactly how they got there. I could see little finger prints. There were places where small ride-on cars were driven into the wall. In one place there was even the damage from a 20-month-old and a pen. Some of the others were just the result of having 4 people living in the house.

It was as I was working my way down the stairs that I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to me, asking how often my life looks like these walls. When I stop to look, do I see scuff marks that I didn't even realize were there? A bad attitude, an ugly word, a bitter heart. Some recognizable, some not.

How often do I seek forgiveness for the little things? It's obvious when I have a big spill that it needs cleaning up immediately. But how often do I ask the Master Painter to get out His paintbrush and re-paint the walls of my heart? Probably, not often enough.

Posted by Rebekah - February 22, 2011
A link with her original post is here.

Rejoice in Life

2011-05-27T20:33:00.000-04:00

Rejoice with them that do rejoice,

and weep with them that weep.

Romans 12:15

We all walk through life with friends by our sides. A friend, a very close friend, is someone whom you choose to be in your life. Someone who I almost consider to be closer than family because you get to specifically choose to spend time with this person and be in each other's lives. A best friend to a girl should almost be equally as important as a spouse, and should be chosen as carefully.

I'm sure we've all heard the sayings about friends. I've been blessed throughout my life to have many good friends, some that I have had since childhood and others that I've picked up along the way. Some live close, some live far but all are wonderful people that I am glad to call friend. One of my favorite sayings about a friend is, "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out".

Two years ago, I lost my best friend to cancer. I can honestly say that she was a friend like no other to me. She was here to help pick me up when my marriage crumbled and I didn't know how the bills would be paid, where money would come from to put food on the table and just to be a shoulder to cry on. She was literally the first person to walk into my house the day that I decided my marriage would cease to exist. She came over with a bottle of wine and sat with me, she sat while another friend came as well and we all sat and talked. Karen, was a wonderful friend to me.

Karen and Ella - Summer 2008

I remember the day that she found out her cancer had spread to her brain. She called, and I met her in the middle, literally in the middle of the road. Karen lived across the street from me with her husband and their most adorable baby girl, Ella. It was that day, the day when the cancer spread to her brain, that she looked at me, tears streaming down her face, and asked me to promise her that I would never leave and would always stay right here and take care of her baby.

In the few short years that I was blessed to be able to call Karen my friend, we built a lifetime of memories. I will never forget the wonderful times we spent together. Our conversations, some very serious and others just fun times that girlfriends would have. I still miss her, daily, and can still hear her voice as she would play with the kids in the yard. I remember the smile on her face as she and Ella jumped on the trampoline for the first time. The way she strutted around that Halloween in her GoGo outfit and Scott in his Austin Powers get up, she truly rocked it!

That very beautiful little, almost 3 year old, girl she left behind 2 years ago will start Kindergarten in a few short months. As I prepare myself to be there for her I can't help but think of all of the wonderful things Ella will miss out of that her mom had to give to her. She gave her the most beautiful gift a mother can give, life. Ella is a little Karen here on earth, a light in all of our lives who are so blessed to be able to share in it. That promise I made to my friend, I intend on keeping until the day I die.

Karen, you were a wonderful influence on my life. You taught me how to be a better mother, woman and human being. You taught me how to enjoy life, truly enjoy the days that I have. To sit with a friend when needed, to be a shoulder to cry on, or to share a laugh with. To be able to sit and enjoy a bottle of wine with a friend, and not know how we got to the bottom of the bottle. Karen, I am a better person for having you in my life and am truly blessed beyond measure to have known you. Ella is an absolutely beautiful little girl, and I will see her through as if she were my own.

Ella - April 2011

As this next week comes and goes, as much as my heart will hurt as it has the past few weeks, I hope to be able to celebrate the life she led and the many wonderful accomplishments she made.

~Amber

Let's Play!

2011-05-27T19:45:00.000-04:00

I always enjoyed playing games as a child. Whether it was a board game, a card game, a crossword puzzle, a video game... it really didn't matter I just loved the challenge of a game. As a child these games were all fun, and within each game was a little piece of reality woven into the fun.

Now, as an adult I also enjoy playing games. It doesn't help much that I'm a highly competitive person and will try my hardest to win, yes even when playing with my kids. It's as an adult that I've begun to place a correlation between everyday life and these silly little games.

As a child I would have wanted to live in the game of LIFE. You start with your little car, you get married and add a person to your car. Along the way you have kids, get a house, you know the whole shebang! Monopoly, that would be a great life too. You travel around, visiting different places then every time you make a pit stop at home you get money!!! Woohoo! Who doesn't love that? You invest in property, and you either make bank or you lose out.

There are other games too, ones that seem more like real life, Payday for example. You earn a salary, pay your bills, take out loans, play the lottery... that's probably more lifelike than anything else. However, I've decided that life is a lot like Chutes and Ladders. We spend our entire life climbing. Climbing ladders trying to get to that next level spot where we find yet another ladder and move on again. Unfortunately for me, it feels as if I either make it just to the top of that ladder and then get thrown down a chute or I never make it up the ladder in the first place.

At times, being an adult is just no fun at all! There rarely seems to be a Candyland day, sometimes I feel like I'm living Twister being pulled in every direction. There's Memory, which fails me daily. There's Scrabble... I feel like that's my mind most of the time, a bunch of letters all jumbled together trying to make cohesive thoughts.

No matter what game you are on at this phase of your life, or what game is your favorite... take a roll, enjoy the ride and come out a winner for your own game.

~Amber

Marriage...

2011-05-25T22:05:00.001-04:00

Like most women out there I like the 'idea' or 'what marriage should be'. In a perfect world and with a perfect man and woman, maybe that 'idea' could become reality. I, however, come from a broken marriage where the idea of marriage was so far from the point of being enjoyable, happy, meaningful or even sustainable that it isn't even humorous. This broken marriage has left me jaded.

This doesn't mean that I don't want a relationship, I do. This doesn't mean that I only want short-term relationships. No, I would like a long-term relationship with commitment and probably even the same level of commitment as a marriage, just without the term. Yes, I know, I know, I know... there are things that can't be because a legal marriage wouldn't exist, that is just something that would be understood.

From my experience and from seeing other people around me as 'married' couples, I see a change in them when they go from being a couple to being husband and wife. I don't want to place that amount of pressure on anyone, myself or a relationship. I go back to the old saying, if it's not broken why fix it?

I know that most of you out there don't and won't agree with me on this. That's okay, I'm not asking for you to. I will still raise my children the same way I always have and instill in them the virtues I would like for them to have. As adults, I would like for them to get married. I want happiness for my girls, but I want to make sure that they are going to be happy forever.

Most of MY reasons for not wanting to be married again stem solely from my previous marriage and resulting divorce. I'm not saying that I won't ever get married again, I do know that for me to do so, it will take one very special person and a mutual agreement between us to iron out a ton of issues.

That's my two cents.

~Amber

Season of Softball

2011-05-24T22:31:00.000-04:00

As we finished our last softball game of the season tonight, we also suffered our first injury. Thankfully it was not one of the girls on the team, it was ME! I took a nice whack to the chin with a softball. I'm sure I'll wake in the morning with a nice bruise.

When we started this season I wondered if I would be able to remember all 12 little girls' names much less be able to yell at them using the right name on the spur of the moment across the field. Not only can I tell you every child's name I can also tell you how they like their pitch to come across the plate and where they will hit the ball. I can tell you if the child should run, run, run and be aggressive or hold them on the base until the next player at bat. Tonight I said goodbye to each little girl and it made my heart swell seeing how much they have grown and learned over the past 3 months.

If I was offered the opportunity again today to coach these 12 little girls all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat. Each child played with their heart. They would be their very best no matter what position I placed them in or if I had to sit them for an inning. As the season heated up, everyone had to take a turn in the catchers gear so our one little catcher didn't pass out from overheating.

To the parents who allowed me to share time with their daughters, thank you. I enjoyed each and every single one of them and have been completely blessed to have them in my life. Nicole, Allie, Karissa, Haley, Heather, Kylie, Lindsey, Courtney, Kayha, Mikala, Brianna G. and Brianna P. thanks for a wonderful season! I am so proud of you, my little Lady Falcons.

~Coach Amber

The beginning to the ending of a season... Elementary School

2011-05-23T23:06:00.000-04:00

As the last week has wrapped up I have had the opportunity to take a look back over the last several months which compiled together create the school year for my children. It is hard to believe that yet another school year has come to an end. With the ending of this school year my first born child will begin 5th grade in the fall. Yes, you read that correctly, 5th (fifth) a.k.a. the last year of elementary school. I never imagined that I would struggle with the ending of school year like I have this year. I know that this upcoming fall will be the last beginning of a school year that my girls will all attend the same school together, the last time that my oldest child will ever have anything to do with being a little girl and just the beginning of all of the drama that entails a 'teenager'. Oh, did I dare say that word?!?!

Riley has grown up so much over the last few years and especially this past year. Trust me, there are still times when she is that little girl that needs you to hold her hand with every little step. However, she is growing into her own and becoming quite the little lady. Riley still has that 'spunk' that she has had since the day she was born, and as much as it drives me crazy sometimes, I hope she will continue to carry it with her throughout her life. Riley has shown me just how much she can accomplish when she sets her mind to it. Just a few weeks ago she completed her first 5k and I couldn't have been any prouder of her!

10 years have come and gone in the blink of an eye. I cannot believe that that little 7 pound 3.5 ounce little red headed girl will be starting 5th grade in just a few short months. You better bet that tears will be shed that morning, maybe once she actually gets on that bus, but they will be shed. I remember every milestone of her life like it was just yesterday. Sleeping through the night, smiling, laughing, sitting up, crawling, first word, walking, her first birthday and the list goes on and on and on. This little girl has gone through so much in the last 6 months, things that I never had to experience until I was an adult. She has talked to me throughout every change in her life and at times gets angry, but every emotion is well deserved.

Riley, I love you more than words can express. As I have told you since you were born, I love you to the moon and back baby girl! I am so proud to be your mommy and I look forward every minute of this next school year.

My next 30 years

2011-03-06T13:48:00.000-05:00

In the words of Tim McGraw...

"I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age

The ending of an era, the turning of a page

Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here

Lord have mercy on my next 30 years"

As I contemplate today over the 30 years I have spent of my life so far, I can't help but to see all the good and bad things combined. But, most of all I see all of the lessons I have learned and all that I can carry with me to my next 30 years. When I look at specific time frames of these 30 years it is more easily broken down. I think these last 10 years have been the most forming of my life, as to where I stand today.

In the past ten years I have become a mother,three times over, the most rewarding experience to date. I have fallen on my rearend and been in a hole so deep that I wondered if there was a way out. I've climbed, slowly, out of that hole and filled it in. I have formed friendships, some that have already seen their lifetime and others that I plan to have for many, many years to come. Each of these friendships have brought wonderful things to my life. I fell in love for the first time in these last 10 years, and I also had my heart broken.

Each of these experiences have brought me to where I am today, and will help lead me through my next 30 years. While I am entering my 30s single, who knows what life will lead here. I may always be single, and if that's the case I will be perfectly content with that. I would like to think that at some point in my life I will fall in love again and will be able to share these next 30 years, the ups and downs, and many adventures with someone.

To those of you who have made up the last 30 years of my life, and who are seeing my into the next, "thank you"! I have childhood friends who have sent well wishes my way today, a brother and wonderful sister in law who have as well, and many new friends who have graciously decided to be part of my life. When I think about how I have met many of my newer friends, it brings a smile to my face that I have met so many wonderful people through different avenues of my life.

Thank you for being who I want to call a 'friend'. I look forward to building memories with you guys over the next 30 years.

In 5 Hours Time...

2010-01-16T18:00:00.000-05:00

I am sure I am among many people who love to watch any of the food shows, but more specifically I love to watch the cake decorating shows like Ace of Cakes and Cake Boss. I love to cook and bake and have tried once in the past to make a cake and ice with fondant. Ready to accept the challenge again, I made my way to Michael's last night to get the necessities for my 'creation'.

Deciding to keep it simple, I went with a chocolate cake with buttercream icing and fondant to cover. Using three colors for flowers, pink, blue and green I set out upon my challenge. The flowers were much easier than I had anticipated then being. After watching the shows and learning that they use pound cake for most of their cakes, one would think that I would take their advice and use that to make mine. No, I chose to make a chocolate cake, which somewhat fell apart when I removed it from the pan even though it didn't stick to the pan at all! I patched together the cake with the buttercream, but because of the mess that the cake had already created I was unable to level the cakes. UGH!

All in all I was pleased with the outcome. It definitely didn't look like a cake that Duff or Buddy would have created, but I think that for my first real attempt at using fondant I did okay. Let's put it this way, I didn't want to throw it out in the garbage. The part of the cake that fell apart I did taste so I know that the flavor was good.

Until next time... ~Amber

No Formal Living Room

2010-01-13T20:48:00.000-05:00

When I moved into the place I call home, a little over three years ago, I never imagined that across the street was my new best friend and a woman who would change my life forever.

Now I don't know how most of you go about looking for a new house, but I decided that I was going to ask God to give me exactly what I wanted in a house. My list of requests consisted of:

A bedroom for each of the girls
A basement
A large yard for the girls to play in
A nice neighborhood
A laundry room
No formal living room

Well, I found a house which I decided was perfect, but it had a formal living room. I had a plan for this formal living room though, I was going to turn it in to an office, but this didn't change the fact that it was a 'formal living room'. An offer was placed on the house, and three hours earlier another couple made an offer on the house that had been accepted.

Another house in the same neighborhood, which was 3 houses down was available but it didn't have that formal living room I had decided would make a great office, but had so adamantly asked God not to give me in a new home. Our offer was made then accepted and so we embarked upon this new life in our new house.

Shortly after moving in to the house I had the opportunity to meet some of my neighbors, all of whom were extremely nice and most had children around the age of my children. None of these neighbors were the ones that you dream of having, you know the ones that you invite over for dinner, have drinks with or share each others children with. The girls loved playing in the large yard, running through the woods and taking walks on the sidewalk at night. The house across the street from me remained quiet, very rarely did I see anyone come or go from this house.

Christmastime came, the girls and I made our cookies and candies and took them around to our neighbors. I rang the bell of the house across the street, received no response so I left the package of goodies on the doorknob with a note. Christmas and New Year came and went and still no sign of the neighbors across the street.

As it started to warm up and spring was nearing a woman would come out of the house occasionally with her stroller with a bundled up little girl and walk the neighborhood. One afternoon while in the yard with the girls she came up the sidewalk, I took the opportunity to walk down and introduce myself. Karen, as she introduced herself, and her smiling daughter Ella stopped for only a few moments and chatted.

Karen, the infamous Karen. A friend of mine's daughter attended a school owned by Ms. Karen, and my recluse of a neighbor was Ms. Karen. Things started to make more sense to me by now. Karen had learned four weeks after the birth of her daughter, Ella, that she had stage 4 bilateral breast cancer. Karen was given 18 months to live. What an awful fate to be dealt when you have just been blessed with a beautiful newborn daughter.

When I met Karen she had just recovered from a bilateral mastectomy and was beginning to emerge from her little shell of a house. We began to see each other outside when the kids were playing and began a wonderful friendship. I learned that my 'formal living room' that I had asked God to not give me had been replaced by a wonderful, new best-friend named, Karen.